When you are first starting to consider homeschooling it can be overwhelming. Should I homeschool? Is it right for my child? Is it right for our family? Will I be ruining their education and making them fall behind? Are they going to be able to get into college?
All those worries and concerns just mean you’re a good mom. Let’s talk about some of the pros and cons of homeschooling. Just like anything, there are definitely both sides when it comes to homeschooling.
That doesn’t mean that homeschooling is necessarily better or worse than other schooling options. It’s just a matter of figuring out if it is the right fit for your family.
Benefits of Homeschooling
There are several reasons that we chose to homeschool our kids. Some of the most common ones you run into are having a flexible schedule, creating a customized education for your child, and spending more time together.
But, there are a ton of other advantages to homeschooling, too. Here is a list of what I’ve come up with. I’m sure there are more!
Customized education: You can choose the subjects and how they are presented to perfectly suit your child’s learning style and interests. A customized education also lets you spend more time on subjects that interest your child and less on ones that don’t.
For example, let’s say your child is very interested in WWII. Great! Seek out more books, documentaries, and field trips around that topic. No interest in botany? No problem. Cover the basics and move on.
Go at your own pace: This is one of my favorite things about homeschooling. If you are on a roll and knocking subjects out like nobody’s business, then fantastic. But, if all of a sudden everyone is sick and a crisis strikes and you need to take a week off, then that’s fine, too.
One of the things I was most surprised with is how quickly we can “catch up” if we take some time off.
One-on-one help: There is just no substitute for working one-on-one with your child. I taught public high school math for several years and I can tell you – if a child came in to get some extra help after school, I could cover more with them in 15 minutes than I could with the entire class in 90 minutes. Individual instruction is the gold-standard. It’s just not possible in a traditional classroom setting. But, it is one of the biggest advantages of homeschooling!
Help with learning disabilities: I see so many moms who have pulled their children out of traditional classrooms because of issues with learning abilities. Whether it is ADD, ADHD, OCS, Dyslexia, or anything else, your child can usually get more attention or the learning environment they need at home.
Unique experiences: When homeschooling, you can take your children to see museums, performances, special exhibits, or travel to destinations basically whenever you want.
In a traditional school setting, they are limited in the number of field trips they can take and how often they can be out of the classroom and still get all of their requirements in. Homeschooling is much more efficient when it comes to covering material, so there is more time for enrichment and “extra” activities.
Flexible schedule: This is a big one for us. We don’t live near any family. So, there are a lot of road trips or family visits. I love that we can go visit family whenever we want and the kids aren’t “missing school”. We just take it with us!
Or, if family comes to visit us the kids aren’t gone all day and then doing homework. We just do some school, maybe a lighter schedule, and then visit with family. Homeschool really lets us prioritize family and I love that.
Feeling safe: This can mean a few things. Yes, there is a lot of violence in our schools today, so keeping children home can sometimes keep them from harm. But, also, the home is often the place where children feel safest. When children feel safe they are more likely to learn better and try new things. So, letting them learn, make mistakes, and explore in their “safe place” can sometimes be just the thing a shy or unsure child needs to grow.
Builds confidence: This kind of goes with the above reason, but is a little different. As a teaching mom, you can encourage and cheer on your children as they go through their schooling. Parents are the biggest influencers in a child’s life, so having their biggest cheerleader routing for them can help build confidence. I find this to be especially true in the early years of homeschooling when children are learning some of those big, foundational skills, like reading, writing, etc.
Build family relationships: We have three daughters. They are together almost all day every day. Do they fight? Yes. But, do they play a lot, laugh, have secrets, work together, and help each other? Yes.
When siblings are homeschooled together, they build a bond that will last them their entire lives. Kids often have best friends growing up, but usually, those friendships drift or fade as they grow. But, when those friendships are forged with their siblings, they will truly last a lifetime.
Independent learning: One of the things I found most troubling when I taught high school was the lack of independent thinking and learning that the students could do. Self-teaching and thinking are two invaluable skills we should be teaching our children for either college, the real-world, or both.
As homeschoolers, we can gently lead our children to become independent learners as they grow. Yes, we sit with them and help them a lot in the younger grades. But, as they get older, homeschool kids are often required to complete a lot of their schoolwork independently. This could be intentional or just a necessity as Mom is working with a younger sibling part of the time.
Either way, learning to work independently is a great life skill many homeschoolers learn.
Don’t miss anything: They’re only little once. It sounds so cliche, but it’s true! You miss so much when kids go off to school at 5 (or 3 or 4) and you only see them a few hours in the evening. And often that time is spent at sports’ practice and on homework.
I worked until our middle daughter was one. They weren’t even in school yet and I remember thinking “I never get to see them”. And when I did, they were cranky and tired and I was cranky and tired. And my husband and I were busy getting everything ready to get to bed and do it all over the next day.
Homeschooling isn’t always fun and easy, but it does let you spend more time with your children before they grow up and leave for good. You also get a front-row seat to all their wonderment and enthusiasm that is otherwise shown to their teacher. That’s priceless.
Sleeping in: This was another big reason we decided to homeschool. After I started staying home, I noticed that my daughter wasn’t even awake when the bus drove by our house at 7:30 am every morning. I also vividly remember waking her up to put her in the car for daycare when I was working. And she would scream.
Waking up at your natural wake time is a big advantage of homeschooling. If your kids are early risers, great. If they sleep in until 9 o’clock, that’s fine, too. I am a night owl, but I do get up early a lot of mornings. But, I don’t wake up in “let’s hurry and get out the door” mode very well. For this reason, I am very thankful for our slow mornings.
More free time: School taking less time and no homework just makes for more time to do whatever you and your kids want. Maybe it’s going to the park. Maybe it’s get involved in a club or hobby like 4-h or building machines. Whatever it is, you will have more time to do it.
No “busy work”: When I was a school teacher there were inevitably those times when I gave kids work to do that I knew wasn’t really important. But, it kept them busy and kept my classroom from spirally into chaos. With homeschooling that is not an issue. When your child finishes his or her work, they can just go play or read or whatever they want to do. You don’t have to keep them at their seats until the bell rings. You can do the important work and not waste your time (or your children’s time) with meaningless busywork.
Evenings free: With homeschooling, there is no homework. Well, I have heard of the occasional mom who assigns her older children homework to be completed on their own, but they are definitely the exception and not the rule.
Early career exploration: With more free time and evenings free, there is more time to explore career options as children get closer to graduation. When I was a public school teacher, I taught juniors and seniors. I can’t tell you how many of them still didn’t know what they wanted to do as they got close to graduation. And how could they? Other than a few electives, when would they have time to explore career choices? They’re in school all day!
But, homeschoolers can research, and possibly, meet or shadow people who actually work in careers that interest them. And, nowadays there are so many online courses that students could take during their homeschool(Udemy, Coursera, etc.) to help them see if a career idea holds real interest for them.
Save money on vacations: I mean, it’s just a fact, going on vacation the first week of September is usually cheaper than mid-Summer. The beach, Disney World, doesn’t matter. You can avoid the crowds and save some money because you don’t have to vacation only when school is out.
Disadvantages of Homeschooling
Homeschooling isn’t all rainbows and cupcakes, let me tell you. It’s just like anything else worth doing – hard work. Any homeschool mom will tell you that there are good days and bad days.
It’s very common to start homeschooling with this “grand vision” in mind of everyone loving school and having fun every day. I think it’s important to have big goals, but it is also important to realize that it won’t be like that every day. It doesn’t mean you are doing anything wrong when your family has a bad day – it’s just part of the journey.
Being misunderstood: We are fortunate to live in a community that is very supportive of homeschooling. But, I often hear of people getting questioned about why their children aren’t in school if they are out during the school day.
A lot of people have preconceived notions about homeschooling and homeschoolers in general. So, be prepared to be questioned about why you chose to homeschool or receive uninvited opinions from strangers (or family members).
Less “friends”: I didn’t want to say ‘friends’ because not everyone a child talks to at school is a friend, but I wasn’t sure what word to use. There are definitely fewer interactions with other children when you homeschool because, well, you’re home. But, I would say that the interactions your children do have are better. They don’t have to worry as much about fitting into a clique or being left out at the lunch table.
A lot of parents worry about “socialization” when it comes to homeschooling. But, with a few simple efforts, your children will have ample opportunities to socialize and interact with children their age and other age groups, as well.
Messy house: Your kids will be in your house most of the day every day. Your house will most likely be messier than if they were at school and you could clean up each day.
A messy house means they’re playing and learning. Especially when they are little, toys will be everywhere and that’s OK. You can certainly work clean up time into your homeschool schedule to keep the mess under control. But, don’t expect a Pinterest perfect house if you homeschool.
Expensive: There are so many resources available to homeschooling families these days that it is a blessing and a curse. The number and quality of curriculums, games, and materials is amazing. But, it can be tempting to buy a lot of them. And then never use them.
I struggle with this simply because the resource looks interesting to me, so I want to get it. But, it’s not about me. It’s about my kids and what works best for them and what they will actually do. So, be aware of shiny object syndrome. It is definitely a real issue for homeschooling moms and will blow your budget in one shopping trip. Buying used homeschool curriculum is one way you can save a ton of money!
No alone time for Mom: You will have your children home with you every day, that’s just the nature of homeschooling. It can be hard to find a few minutes to yourself in the week. This is especially true when your children are little. As most moms know, even the bathroom is not a guaranteed five minutes peace!
A few ways to combat this are to have a babysitter who comes once a week or a few times each month, swap childcare with a fellow homeschooling mom, or ask your husband to take the kids out once in a while, so you can have a few minutes peace and quiet. I have (and still do, sometimes) all three of these and they are great options for carving out a few minutes to decompress or just get out by yourself.
It’s OK to want to have some time away from your kids and it’s OK to work that into your schedule.
Big responsibility: Sometimes the pressure can be a lot. Depending on what state you live in the amount of documentation required to homeschool can vary drastically. You want to make sure you are properly preparing your children to succeed in life and well, it’s all up to you. Homeschooling can feel like a big responsibility (and it is!) and the stress can be a lot sometimes.
It can help to take a big-picture view of the year and work backward from there. I also find it helpful to think about how much I don’t remember from school and I am just fine. Find a group of like-minded homeschooling families and lean on them when you feel the stress of educating your children creep in.
Feeling isolated: What about if you live in an area where homeschooling is not popular and there are no other families to lean on? That is a reality for a lot of homeschooling families. It can be isolating just being home with children all day. Often moms of little children feel this because it’s easier to just stay home than get all the gear packed up and strap everybody in and go somewhere.
When you homeschool, sometimes it can just be easier to stay home, too. But, that can lead to feelings of isolation. To combat this, you can join homeschool co-ops (or start your own), have play dates (older kids still like to play with their friends), or join online communities.
When it comes to online communities Facebook groups can be great, but they can also be awful. So, be careful choosing Facebook groups and don’t hesitate to leave a group if you find it’s not a good fit for you. A go idea might be to find Facebook groups specific to your area. These groups are great places to learn about local events and field trips, which could lead to real in-person friendships for you and your kiddos.
There are other online homeschooling communities, as well, but most of them are paid. It may be worth it if you are short of support in your local region.
Exhausting: It can be tough to “keep at it” day after day. Your children won’t always want to do their schoolwork. They won’t always want to listen to you. Your children will sometimes be pretty sure you have no idea what you are talking about and why should they listen to you anyway.
It can be exhausting to research curriculum, then plan lessons, teach lessons, and keep up with all the tasks included with running a household, too. It’s important to realize when you are getting stressed or exhausted and take steps to rest.
Resource overload: I talked a little bit about this before. The amount of resources available to homeschoolers these days is astounding. You can spend hours, days, even weeks looking at all the options and trying to determine which one is perfect for your family.
Talking to other homeschool moms and getting their opinions on what has worked for them and what hasn’t can be a tremendous help. You can find out a lot more than you will from looking at the previews on Amazon and christianbook.com! This is one area where Facebook groups can come in handy. I see lots of moms asking for recommendations about math or English and there are always tons of responses.
No access to sports/clubs: This depends on your local school district, really. Some districts are great about welcoming homeschoolers into their music and/or sports programs. Others, not so much. Sometimes you might be required to register with the district (as opposed to an online umbrella school) for your child to be able to participate.
If your local district does not allow homeschoolers to participate I know many private Christian schools allow homeschoolers in their programs. There are two in our rea who actively make it known in our local homeschooling Facebook groups that their teams are open to homeschool kids.
Discipline/tension: You know how it seems like your children are always so well behaved for others and then they are awful for you sometimes?
Well, that just gets amplified when you homeschool. Now, I’m not saying every day is awful. But, your children will be around all day every day, so if you have a discipline issue with one or more of your children, then you can probably expect it to be amplified in homeschooling.
Now you are not only telling them what to do as a mother, but they have to listen and learn from you as a student. This can be a wonderful thing and can help strengthen the bond between mother and child. But, there will be days when it can also be extra hard because you are a parent and not “just a teacher.”
With my daughters, we have more good days than bad. And on the bad days, I just try to back off a bit, let them cool off, and then come at the subject from a different angle or save it for another day and move on to something else. Most homeschool moms I know say that homeschooling strengthens their bond with their children. But, just a heads up that when you experience the push-back from your child about doing their schoolwork – it’s normal. Try to diffuse the situation and move on instead of making a mountain out of a molehill.
I find that most often when one of my daughters gives me attitude or has a meltdown about her work, it’s usually because she is struggling with a new skill and is frustrated with herself. So, I back off and give her some time to process it. Then revisit the skill and it usually goes OK.
Take a Deep Breath
Homeschooling, like anything else worth doing, is hard work. Any classroom teacher will tell you that she and her students have good days and they have bad days. Why should we expect homeschooling to be any different?
Before I started homeschooling, I had these grand plans of my children loving learning and always wanting to do school.
While that is mostly true, we do have our fair share of “bad days”, too. There are days when I think “gosh, maybe I should just enroll them in school.” Or I think how much easier it would be to go workout or go to the grocery store if my girls were in school!
There are pros and cons for homeschooling, but in my opinion, the benefits of homeschooling far outweigh the arguments against it. Ultimately, you have to decide what is right for your family.
If you have any questions, please feel free to email me or leave a comment below.
In the meantime, save this post so you can revisit it later!
Great read!! Thanks for sharing such a great blog.